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Today will be your final farewell. This isn't the end, my love. We will meet again in Paradise. I promise you that. | | |
| "Don't regret what you did do, but regret what you didn't do."
I regret not saying those three words to you enough.
Do you remember when
I told you this that night
That if you're by my side
When everyday begins
I'll fall for you again?
I made a promise when
I told you this that night
That I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
It's alright, I'll be fine
When I die then I die loving you
Loving you, loving you
I love youI love you I love you I love you
I hope you knew that | | |
| Insomnia was okay during my hiatus, but not when I have work the next day. I tried to fall asleep at 9pm and here I am yet again, tossing and turning. It's because I'm constantly thinking about you. I miss holding you in my arms and watching you fall asleep. I miss your laughter, and being the one who makes you feel safe. When I'm with you, it feels like everything will be alright. I talk to you often, and wonder if you can hear me. I miss you so much, and can't help but cry every single night. You would always have the words to make me feel better.I will see you later today Moo Moo. Happy 3 years and 11 months.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along | | |
| As I make my way through this most difficult time of grief, I will recognize that this sense of unreality--of feeling disconnected from the world, isolated, and adrift--is to be expected. It will not last for long. Gradually, I will feel more connections, more stability. The numbness and the floating feeling will dissipate and a whole range of emotions will take their place. Right now, I am doing what I need to do. My body is taking care of itself in this way. I cannot and need not try to change it.
I will carry my own burden as best I can without questioning why I have been "chosen" to have so much heartbreak in my life. All of us have been chosen for misfortune at one time or another. The road I travel is difficult--sometimes nearly unbearable--but it is mine. And I will own it and realize that it will lead me out of this darkness. | | |
| You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world | | |
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